In the month of November, I find this is a bittersweet month about 2 years ago this month my mom committed suicide. I know what people mean when they say be nice to your mother because when she's gone you'll miss her. There isn't a day that I don't miss my mom, now that I'm a mother I miss her being here to share in the joy of her granddaughter's many first. As I think forward to the future, I think upon my past traditions with my mom and dad, and my adopted family. I also find myself missing my adopted grandmother, who I have found memories of hugging and kissing her with her saying, "A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. I love you Jennifer."
My mom loved Thanksgiving, maybe because here birthday was near Thanksgiving maybe not. But the day after Christmas, my mom would decorate the tiny little 2 bedroom town house that I lived in with her and my dad. She'd play Christmas music and spend all day cleaning and decorating for Christmas, and then she'd make Zucchini Bread with me. It was definitely something I looked forward to, just as much as Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte and Carmel Apple Cider. After Black Friday and the weekend, we go in search of Christmas gifts.
Thanksgiving though was always a time I'd be thankful for my family, no matter how quirky, dysfunctional,
or dare I say STRANGE they were. For you see my family would always be Strange, based on the fact that I come from Strange Stock. For those of you who don't know the hidden joke, my mother's maiden name was Strange. So I have a Strange mother, a Strange Papa (Grandfather), two Strange Nanas (Grandmothers), and two Strange sisters. So you get the picture right? It was just a Strange family to be in with a lot of uniqueness about it. We loved each other, and when my mom was alive I was able to meet my Papa Strange as an adult. He's a quiet and stoic man, with a very gentle loving nature. He's the kind of man, that makes you question what secrets are you hiding Grandpa? What can you tell me about your life? And so on and so forth.
Papa Strange was very upset when my mom committed suicide, I know this because of my dad and how close my dad and I have become since my mother's suicide. I know as you read this, you may feel sorry for me but don't because I look forward to the day that I will see my mother in Heaven (wherever Heaven is). You may also notice that I don't refer to my mom as passing away, because I see no reason to sugar coat what my mother did or how she died. My mom committed suicide, and I am survivor of that and many other things. My mom's and my relationship was a little choppy and up and down to say the least. But I know without a doubt I loved my mother and she loved me and that she would of loved the opportunity to meet both of her granddaughters. In the theme of November, I am thankful that she was my mother, and this Sunday I am dedicating my daughter, whom I am so thankful to God for back to Him. My daughter is a gift I and my husband thought we would never have. We were told there would be no children for us, if she is our only one then she will be our only child but she will always be loved and told about her grandmother and about the importance of being thankful for everything.
